Gratitude

There is a change in the air. Straight up water crystals are vibrating a different dance, opening the chance... to be charged with life differently.

Taught young, we are. To think in terms of who won, and who lost. its so deep in there that its been kinda hard to be clear that it doesn't have to be this way. We were trained to measure ourselves in relation to each other. Within such a system, there cannot be peace for everyone, because some poor shmoes are always going to loose. The rest of us need them to, like a sacrifice.

Its a quiet sacrifice mostly. Like the cow who's throat is cut by an illegal immigrant. that dude can't cry out about the abuse, cause he'll get sent home. He can't let himself feel, cause he'd loose the only job he knows how to do. So its all real clean. Dead cow goes straight to styrafoam.

We do this to each other too. Iv'e seen it all my life. how can I be happy that I got the best score... without a bunch of peeps being unhappy they got the lowest? And really, wtf is the difference? What matters is what I do in relation to ME.

To learn to stand in the field alone, and let myself be seen by life. Let lightning strike, and learn to channel it into the ground. To allow...

And it is for this that I am grateful. This courage lead me into these little breathes of air... These dancing crystals in the air are rewiring us. I can feel it. they are chargin joy in a new way. The thrill of victories over the poor shmoes...a re fading.

I was once performing at a theater on the lower east side. I stayed late after a party, and talked with the owner. He told me careful, caring stories about watching people go through, and shine, and thrive, and fall, and leave, and come back, and rise beyond his little walls.

He was clearly so alive, so caring... 'why haven't you expanded, built a bigger space...'

'because you have to eat people'. he replied

I am grateful, that I don't. I am feeling long prayers pay off. We are entering a time when the greatest joys are breaking free of the competition. Seems like an odd time to say this, with the culture under siege from 'reality' shows where everyone is rabbid to tear each other down... but thats just it. Its the last hurrah. I feel it brewing. The shows are there to distract, while the air itself changes, and teaches us to dance.

Its quiet at first. It is quiet. But its getting all the way in our bones.

i like this dance. it is much more fun. Its called, 'when I shine, you shine too'

how do we measure each other? We don't.

How do we measure ourselves? with our dreams. With the love of our dreams. Are we creating them? good, doing well. Are they faltering? 'what is wrong, how can we accept help.

At first it may sound uncharged, almost boring. But I feel it, the charge is just deeper. It refuses to accept the sacrifice, the hit of life that comes when we tear someone down to feel a little higher. Tear that game down. the whole thing. See it as a barbaric remanant of a dying way. The detritus of a time when we learned to fight each other with rules, so we wouldn't fight each other without them.

but it WAS still fighting.

that game, the living energy of that way, is full of shit. shit makes great compost. hve you ever been in a room full of people chanting for passionate peace? have you ever felt ripples of orgasmic energy shoot up your spinewith a gasp, when you see an Angel dancing, if only for a moment? Have you ever learned to make love with your eyes?

Sounds like fun.

I am grateful that the new dances are beginning, and that by wanting them so much, for so long, I get to start a little early