Unraveling Con - fusion

Con - against
Fusion - merging

http://kaiya.podbean.com/#

I have lived with 'confusions' in my awareness, for which I have somewhat effectively medicated myself with understanding.

It has been incomplete.

I hear so much. It rains in like a tickertape of thoughts, mostly monotone... from a whole layer of awareness that seems to be... you. the people around me. Yet very aware versions of ya'll, seeing and thinking and recognizing things I cannot. Hearing my thoughts.

Here is my emerging model of understanding.

the Hawaiians understand both a higher, and a lower self. WE live and grow in the middle mostly, and have both layers in relation to ourselves.

I believe this as wavelengths, and energy fields. There is an 'octave', a range of energy that extends from one wavelength to the wavelength twice as long...along with the waves in between, and the relationshiops between themn... this corresponds to a musical 'octave' from one note to the next higher note of the same 'letter'. C to C.

then there is a whole range below this, down to HALF the original wavelength... and a whole range above this up to TWICE the higher wavelength.

By comparison, pianos have over seven octaves.

So I believe that the range we are most attuned in, with the traditional hive senses, is the middle self. We are learnging to harness the 'lower' self, and integtate its strengths, and we are learning to be guided by the 'higher' self, and integrate its strengths.

Thie 'higher' self is, in my understanding, not 'above ' us, but a higher WAVELENGTH. the actual energy is, and has always been, within us. the challenge is to bridge it so clearly that we are functioning with it, rather than amidst confusion.

con fusion, the experience of forces pushing against each other, rather than learning to merge, and harmonize.

My sense, my intuitivon, is tis.

My chin chakra, energy center, wildflower... seems to function as a translator. If I op[ened all the receptors at once, I'd go nuts. I have tyried this, or rather, I have tried opening much more than I had before, and it really is overwhelming. But this series of steps did enable me to open MORE, and learn to channel energy through my chin. The chin 'translates it into more palatable pieces. my balance? I get this tickertape of thboughts that my own essence has somehow selectyed, or my guidance has... for me to be aware of.

It often involves very insightful glances into other peopole. I overhear YOUR thoughts. It isn't an open door scenerio. I can't CHOOSE to, and I can barely choose NOT to. But when it comes through, I get repeated examples that it is in fact the real deal.

Yet many of the 'thoughts' I hear are very very mean. I had SUCH a  difficult time with this, constantly overhearing nasty statements amidst confusion.. the warst thoughts and feelings realloy.

My perception now, is that I was diving. I was learning to focus, to refocus my consciouslness into the octave BELOW, where more primal, survival thoughts and feelings live. It isn't that this is a evil or even horrible vib ration. It isn't directly less evolved, but it is heavily focused on the body.  Along with the passions and emotions that are most challenging to cinorporate.

they are here for everyone, I just somehow got 'stuck'. and it is almost as if my middle self trying to be a very good person self, got focused on the lower self, so I began taking an aweful lot of 'hits' energy meanness that I presume most people mostly ignore.

then there is the higher range. It is easy to be there sometimes, but con fusion still comes in. Because how on earth can this person who just said that very mean thing and threw a fit... actually an Angel? because we are all divine, and we all focus a greater awareenss of divine connection in this higher self within us... and we are all learning to integrate the body centered life and thoughts we are...l with this more eternally aware self.

In the grand scheme of things, it isn't hell. It is karma, it is the process of learning to integrate divergent awareness and experience within one life. that is the magic of this body, this self, this existence.