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calm
October 2009 
Presence...
Posted on Jun 19th, 2009
by 
Kaiya
Kaiya
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for June 19, 2009:
I keep wanting to frame the wonderful life I'm unfolding, in a manner that makes sense to who I used to be. That lives up to 'high' expectations, that justifies, that explains, proves, astounds...
All wonderful ideas, but ones that bring me out of my body. I can feel it happen. Every thought has its resonance, and when it is 'time' to ponder and imagine the joys of another time, it flows, and opens joy.
When induced by guilt, or such vibes, it creates static, further pushing me into thought as idea, rather than the vibration I feel.
It is amazing to live with this gift. I recoil from the feelings for sure, but in time it becomes more clear that by engaging the felt resonance, I gain so much perspective and influence over feelings that have been invasive, wounded, or just plain 'dull' designed essentially to hold me back, with little care for the actual impact of dullness, and much gratitude for just being able to break me, to brake me, to slow, to move out of ARDAGSDG!@#! and into dullllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll.
And from this gratitude, I can more fully enter the presents of my body. to feel my way out of dull, and its precursers, and on into increasingly synchronistic joy.
peace ya'll
All wonderful ideas, but ones that bring me out of my body. I can feel it happen. Every thought has its resonance, and when it is 'time' to ponder and imagine the joys of another time, it flows, and opens joy.
When induced by guilt, or such vibes, it creates static, further pushing me into thought as idea, rather than the vibration I feel.
It is amazing to live with this gift. I recoil from the feelings for sure, but in time it becomes more clear that by engaging the felt resonance, I gain so much perspective and influence over feelings that have been invasive, wounded, or just plain 'dull' designed essentially to hold me back, with little care for the actual impact of dullness, and much gratitude for just being able to break me, to brake me, to slow, to move out of ARDAGSDG!@#! and into dullllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll.
And from this gratitude, I can more fully enter the presents of my body. to feel my way out of dull, and its precursers, and on into increasingly synchronistic joy.
peace ya'll
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