Sleeping

when I was young, I was terrified to sleep. That is the beginning of these memories, for now. I knew something horrible was coming, and I desperately wanted my parents to stay up late, later than me, and angsted my way through the inbetweens.

I didn't want to be awake, when they were all 'gone'.

Later, It became a time to read. reading replaced fears, and that was lovely. I'd often read all night, and I recall forgetting that anything had been scary when I was younger, which means something about it was sure working. But I dearly disliked waking up again. i never had enough.

later still, sleeping has become a time of magic.

I get woken in my sleep, often. the mind is crystal clear, and I get taught. Because it often begins so clearly, I can retain my focus on the 'teacher' and go deeper. I don't not hear' the same doubts and distractions I do during the day. The lessons stay clear. It is truly, absolutely, beautiful. this has progressed to a point of real iamazing stuff. I get dreams, that lead me into a scenerio. they take it to a certain point... and then... I'm woken up.

the challenge is to see what I'll do, how i'll respond in that vivid inbetween, when i can still engage the dream vibration as a 'vision', and allow it to continue, with a consciousness about it, just a different perspective.

It bridges me between here, and 'there'.

I presume I'm leading into lucid dreams, of which I havn't had many. the childhood night terrors were often completely conscious, with little distinction between waking and sleeping, save that I couldn't feel my body, my whole being was IN the vision. so to me, this introduced the natural reality of... many realititeis. I have a distinct trust that we are concenterated consciousness in what we know of as material reality, and there are plenty of other vibrations to exist within, to various exents.

And we can learn to travel between...

during the waking times, most of which are day time for me, for now, I have large portions of my consciousness 'elsewhere'. It is often jpure kinisthetic, and verbal, often without even layers of sound. Its like being blind, and partially deaf, and it has taken years of cultivation to focus on it enough to learn and be present'. My results remain sloppy. I hear shards of all sorts of experiences, subconscious feelings, wishes, passions. Its confusing often, and they react to me, mostly.

And over time, I am distilling the understanding that I am, often, engaging vibrational fields of existence that are the 'same' core fields I do (can) go to in my sleep. In sleep time I am perhaps more fully present 'there'. I have an awareness of being there, I 'remember' making choices about my day in THIs body. its almost like a planning vibration, from which this material experience is plotted out.

Perhaps you can feel what I'm talking about?